Feng Shui

Feng Shui

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received.. Hope it works for you -- and me!


Lotus Touts: You have 6 minutes


There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so far.


Do not keep this message.


The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.


FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.


FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.


SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.


EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.


TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


THIRTEEN! When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'


FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.


SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.


SEVENTEEN.. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.


EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


NINETEEN. When you realize you 've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


TWENTY. Smile when p icking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice


TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.


Now, here's the FUN part!

Send this to at least 5 people and your life will
improve.

1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.

5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.

9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks

15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.


A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Do not keep this message.

Dog Food Diet

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.

On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore